To whomever threw an egg at my window last night: I spent forty-five minutes scraping yolk off my windowsill today and another forty-five washing all the glass, all while trying to convince myself that it wasn’t some deliberate thing because my neighbors don’t like me or that it wasn’t a GAY HATE CRIME. So I’d just like to thank you for making me feel sorry for myself for a few hours today, sad and persecuted and all alone in my egg-covered apartment, chipping and hacking away with a butter knife, wondering if it all made me a total Carrie or maybe just that lady who fell out of the window in that one episode. 

1. meredithbklyn liked this
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3. langer said: :(
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7. bafflevent said: I found eggs on my car. Turned out a bird’s nest had blown out of a tree dumping the contents on my hood.
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10. celebraterickysargulesh said: fyi it was me telling you that you need more protein
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